Only In My Dreams
by Aemilia Rose
Summary: Because she has been separated from Ferio for so long, Fuu feels like her heart has been torn out. Until one time when she dreams . . . Update: Poem added.
1. Only in My Dreams

Hello everyone! This is my first Rayearth fanfic! I hope it meets your approval!  
  
This story is dedicated to my two friends, Danielle of Airls, and Zsa Zsa Sphynx.  
  
Disclaimer: I own nothing, except for the image of Ferio in my heart.  
  
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The autumn wind whistled through the trees in the small, secluded park in Tokyo, bringing with it bitter memories for the girl curled up on the bench with a book in her lap. Of course, the girl realized, the memories themselves weren't bitter. Then why did she feel so?  
  
Fuu gripped the book in her hands, wishing that she could dissolve into the story, leaving the world in which she lived behind. How ironic it was that she, of all people, wanted to become a character in the fantasy world of her book with all its carefree heroes. But that, in itself, created the difference. Those carefree heroes, who journeyed away from their homes in pursuit of adventure, conquering effortlessly against all odds, and returning home to live happily ever after with their friends and family.  
  
Fuu lightly shook her head in mild disgust. No wonder it was fiction.  
  
She used to love to read this type of fantasy novels, but try as she might, she found that now she was far from enjoyment. She forced herself to continue, page after page, chapter after chapter, but the words refused to speak to her. It was so . . . false.  
  
Her limit of toleration was reached when the courageous female protagonist met a kind, handsome man.  
  
Fuu slammed the book shut, and threw it to the ground, sending clouds of dirt and dust billowing in the air. Drawing her legs up to her chest, she wrapped her trembling arms around her knees, huddling into a little ball as if trying to make herself as small as possible.  
  
"Fuu?"  
  
The voice pressed for Fuu to lift her head up and meet her friend's eyes. Umi stood there on the park path, framed by curtains of colorful leaves. Blinking sheepishly, Fuu dropped her gaze back down to her hands lying empty in her lap. "Oh, I'm sorry, Umi-san. I didn't know you were here." She quickly collected herself, gingerly rescuing her book from its bed of grime and brushing the dirt from its cover.  
  
Rather than answering, Umi elected to come over and sit down on the bench with Fuu. Brushing strands of blue hair back from her face, she turned her head towards Fuu. "I came to find you." She paused. "Hikaru and I didn't know where you went."  
  
"And you both have to be with me twenty-four hours a day?" Fuu was startled by the touch of venom in her voice, but couldn't hold it back. "We're friends, not Siamese twins!"  
  
It was obvious that Umi did not expect this from the normally quiet and well-mannered girl she knew. It was long before she found the courage to speak. "I'm sorry if I offended you Fuu." She spoke slowly and cautiously. "It's just that we're worried. Lately, you . . ."  
  
"There you guys are!" A cheerful voice interrupted. Before either could react, Hikaru dropped down on Fuu's other side on the bench. "We've been looking everywhere for you Fuu-chan! You've got to stop running off all the time! We've found you so many times in this park, this is the first place we look now. What's so great about this park anyway?" Hikaru looked over at her two friends. Fuu was still avoiding eye contact. Even Umi didn't acknowledge her question, but simply alternated looking annoyed at Hikaru and concerned at Fuu. Seeing that no one was going to answer, she continued. "This is very unlike you Fuu-chan. Normally you don't close yourself away like this. What . . ." Hikaru trailed off, noticing the trembling of Fuu's shoulders. "Fuu-chan, you're crying." She reached up to wipe away the telltale signs of moisture on Fuu cheeks.  
  
Fuu shrugged away from Hikaru's touch. "No I'm not, Hikaru-san."  
  
Umi rolled her eyes. "Don't give us that."  
  
"Yeah!" Hikaru smiled widely, as if the act would bring another smile to Fuu's face. "Come on, cheer up!"  
  
Umi leaned over to look at Fuu eye to eye. "What's wrong, Fuu?" When her friend didn't answer, Umi tried again. "We're your friends. It's okay to tell us."  
  
In a sudden motion that startled her friends, Fuu stood, clutching the closed book to her chest. "You two are worried for nothing." She spoke with an unusual edge to her voice. "Nothing is bothering me. Nothing at all. And even if something was, it's too trivial to speak of. But nothing is, so there is nothing to worry about. Nothing . . ." She trailed off, biting her lip nervously.  
  
Hikaru and Umi glanced at each other. "Fuu . . ."  
  
But Fuu was already halfway to the park gate, not even minding that the golden leaves blowing from the trees were getting caught in her hair. She simply shook them off and kept walking.  
  
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Sleep . . .  
  
Sleep was a murky oblivion. An ocean of black water to swim in, to sink in, to drown in. The substance of nothing that swelled up to engorge all that closed their eyes and willed for this state of blankness to pull them away. Pull them away from their worlds of misery and empty promises. Pull them away from the harsh truth that they refuse to acknowledge. Just simply pull them away.  
  
Away was exactly where Fuu wanted to go now. Away, anywhere but dim confines of her hollow self.  
  
Wrapping her mockingly colorful quilt around herself, she begged it to ward of the chill of the night's breath upon her body. She was cold- so cold. As if the frigid depths of her sorrow had laid their icy claws upon her. This time, the time right before sleep claimed her, was when her restless torment came foremost in her mind. She had tried nearly everything to pry its grip on her heart away, but to no avail. Day by day it grew worse, the grip tighter, the pain sharper. Now, it was the worst she had ever known. It had become a metal spike that drove into her mind, stealing every space of conscious thought.  
  
It only she had not been forced to leave him. If only . . .  
  
Immediately, the spike plunged deeper. Desperately, she threw away the useless wishes, wanting nothing but relief from this horrid agony.  
  
"Fuu . . ."  
  
The voice spoke quietly, penetrating the tortured pits of her heart. She shook her head despondently. Not again. No . . . she had often heard his voice in her dreams, calling out to her . . . but it wasn't him. It was false. All false. She would not raise her hopes at the phantom voice that taunted her. It was as fictional as those childish novels.  
  
"Fuu . . . please . . ."  
  
The voice pleaded with her, begging her to look up and accept it for that which it wasn't. Fuu cringed, expecting the phantom voice to trigger the spike to dig deeper. Suffering through spasms of trembling, she was suddenly surprised to realize that the voice prompted the opposite effect. Her shudders gradually subsided, leaving her shocked to feel the most peaceful she had been in weeks. With the puzzling sense of calm, came also the irresistible urge to put her hopes in the voice, and follow it to its source.  
  
Lifting her head, she immediately noticed that she was swathed in wisps of thin white cloud. At least it appeared to be thin cloud in some respects. In other ways, it seemed more like a think fog swirling about to envelope her in its embrace. Was this the dark oblivion of sleep?  
  
"I'm here, Fuu." The voice called out. "I'm waiting for you."  
  
Pulling herself upright, Fuu set out to follow the voice. She extended her foot forward to take one cautious step, then another. Raising her chin to the warm mists of her dream, she tiptoed across time and space as one would lightly walk across grassy fields of morning dew.  
  
Opening her eyes, she looked out over the horizon of blissful white smoke. In the distance, she saw the silhouette of a person. As she drew closer, her feet beginning to unintentionally quicken, her heart rejoiced to realize that the shape was undoubtedly known to her. The voice had not been false. Her highest hopes had been fulfilled.  
  
It was Ferio.  
  
Accelerating to a haphazard sprint, Fuu rapidly closed the distance between them, tears blurring the oh-so-familiar man she loved. As soon as she was close enough, her feet left the ground in an undignified leap, sending her into Ferio's arms. At first, Ferio simply held Fuu and letting her emotions pour out from her eyes. For the longest time, the two just stood there like two vines wrapped around each other, their wilted flower buds finally regaining the strength to bloom.  
  
"Hey, gorgeous." Ferio said finally, that typical smirk beginning to tug at his lips. "What took you so long?"  
  
Even if it was a question that sought a response, Fuu was too wracked by sobs to answer or to realize that her tears were staining his clothing. She clung to him fiercely, afraid that he would fade and become only the dream that he was. Finally, she opened her mouth to speak, but only hitched whimpers came out.  
  
"Hey, Fuu, calm down." Ferio pulled her away just enough so that he could meet her gaze. "If you keep going like this you're gonna get me to start crying." Responding, she looked up into his eyes, drowning in the endless mirrors of amber, consumed by the love that she saw there. After a long moment, he hugged her close to him again, pulling her down with him into a sitting position on a chair that seemed to materialize out of nowhere.  
  
"F-ferio," she whispered brokenly. "H-how . . ."  
  
"Shhh." He hushed her gently, cradling her in his arms like a father would his daughter. "I explain everything, just relax." He gestured around at the mysterious place around them, with its coils of hazy white. "Strangely enough as it is, we are the only inhabitants of this . . . um . . . area." He grinned. "I never thought I'd be so happy in a sappy fantasy dream world."  
  
Fuu's expression grew confused. "Dream world? Then, I am still asleep?"  
  
Ferio nodded, growing serious. "Cephiro is a land of will." At that, the serious face he had set up dissipated like shattering glass. Chuckling, he shook his head slightly. "Of course you remember that."  
  
"Yes, but," she paused, still uncertain. "We aren't in Cephiro."  
  
"No, but I am. Physically, anyways." Ferio leaned over so that his lips brushed hers. "This is what my heart willed for."  
  
Before Fuu could speak, he kissed her deeply, drawing her into it. The pure, misty swirls spun around them, immersing them in a whirlpool of emotion and love.  
  
Finally, they broke away, only because Fuu had begun crying again. "I-I don't understand . . ."  
  
Ferio reached up to run his fingers through her silky hair. "What don't you understand? Why I kissed you?" Fuu's shocked expression pressed him to laugh. "I'm only joking!"  
  
Fuu sighed, letting any doubts she had flow out with it in a swiftly flowing current. "That's about the only thing I do understand right now." She whispered softly, laying her head back down on Ferio's shoulder. "What do you mean, your heart willed for this?"  
  
"It means that we yearned to see each other so badly, our hearts made it possible." He paused, letting his words sink in, seeing their effect as a look of increasing awe spread on Fuu's face. "Yes, Fuu. This is our own world, created by our hearts. This is where we'll come when we dream. We can be together."  
  
Fuu blinked several times before answering. When she did, she surprised him by flinging her arms around his neck and awarding him with her fabulous smile. "Oh Ferio! That's wonderful!" This time, Fuu pressed her lips to his. She rejoiced at the presence of his arms around her. She wondered for a split second how this one man could cause her such pain, and yet could still fill the empty space in heart simply with his presence. Of course, she did not ponder this long, reassured by the fact that it did not matter. The pain only came when she could not be with him, and that would never happen again.  
  
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Anxiety was apparent in Hikaru and Umi's eyes, as they walked into the park the next morning. The golden rays of the rising sun shone over the grassy green fields inside the park gate. Sure enough, right inside that gate, was Fuu sitting with her back against a tree. As her friends approached, they noticed with concern that a novel was once again in her lap.  
  
Sighing defeatedly, Umi spoke first. "Fuu, I want you to know that . . ."  
  
"Hold on a second, Umi-san!" Fuu said suddenly, with an excited undertone to her voice. "I'm at a good part!"  
  
Startled, Umi took a step backward, sharing a puzzled look with Hikaru. After a few moments, Fuu gently closed the book and set it down next to her. Jumping up to a standing position, she immediately enveloped her friends in a tight embrace. "A happy ending! I knew it would be!"  
  
"Um," Hikaru stuttered, obviously confused at Fuu's sudden change of attitude. "I, uh, I'm glad you're happy, Fuu-chan."  
  
"You have no idea!" Fuu nearly shouted in her cheerfulness.  
  
Umi giggled. "That must have been a pretty good book to have this effect."  
  
"Oh, it was!" Fuu laughed merrily. "The main character finally got together with the handsome prince! She's going to live happily ever after with the man she loves!" Fuu suddenly calmed down, raising her hand to touch her lips lightly. Her friends heard her whisper faintly, "Just like me."  
  
Knowing what this mean, Hikaru's eyes widened. "Do you mean that you have a boyfriend, Fuu-chan?"  
  
Fuu laughed once more, and lifted her eyes to the golden sun just beginning its trek across the sky. Finally, she answered.  
  
"Only in my dreams."  
  
The End. 


	2. Poem: Drowning

No, unfortunately this is not really another chapter. I had it set in my mind when I first wrote this story that it would be only one chapter.  
  
But, just after I posted it, I wrote a little Fuu/Ferio poem. As soon as I wrote it, I realized how well it fit the story.  
  
So, here it is.  
  
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I am drowning in endless meres of amber.  
  
Who would have thought,  
  
That one pair of eyes,  
  
Could hold so much love?  
  
That love is everything to me.  
  
A gentle caress to my cheek,  
  
A warmth to my heart.  
  
Yes.  
  
I am drowning.  
  
But I welcome the golden waters willingly.  
  
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Thanks to those who read my story. I never knew that my first step into Rayearth would be this much fun!  
  
Fuu and Ferio forever! 


End file.
